I am no June.

Hello campers. Today, I would like to discuss ovens. Yes, I realize that I have not blogged in months, and this may seem like an ill chosen topic, but hey - it's my blog.

Today, for reasons that will (theoretically) be discussed in a subsequent post, I have literally been cleaning my house for TEN HOURS. I kid you not. It has taken more Diet Coke and candy corn than you can possibly conceive. Not to mention that yesterday I cleaned for...wait...what day was yesterday? I seriously cannot remember. Oh yes - Tuesday. I cleaned for 7 hours on Tues and 3 on Monday. And, I'm not done yet. Never before and never again has/will this house been/be so magnificently sparkly.
I am just so overwhelmed with self congratulatory feelings right now that I really have to share them with you. So far, I have:
Dusted, washed windows, scrubbed toilets, cleaned showers/sinks, wiped down doors and doorknobs, vacuumed, cleaned carpets (including stairs), moved furniture, killed bugs, made something crafty, scrubbed out the trash can (not kidding), wiped down windowsills, done countless loads of laudry, scrubbed Ammon's hideous lazyboy (3 times cause the first time I used too much soap and made it crunchy), wiped baseboards, stripped sheets and put up Halloween decorations. AND I'M STILL NOT DONE. I am amazing.

OK back to ovens. So, for those of you that have an oven (I assume that's most of you reading this), does it have a self cleaning feature? And do you use it regularly? What a wonderful invention. Now do any of you have a double oven? If so, does it have the self cleaning feature on the 2nd oven also? BECAUSE MINE DOES NOT AND I'M VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT IT.
In my Diet Coke induced cleaning frenzy, I was Windexing the outside of the ovens when I happened to peek inside and thought to myself "Self, good job on setting the self clean yesterday. This makes your life wonderful and complete. Now self, let's just double check the bottom oven...". I won't tell you what came out of my mouth at that moment, but it wasn't pretty, nor was the oven.
Eee gads you have never seen such a mound of disgusting yuckified grossness. Honestly, did I blow up a jar of honey and then pour 6 lbs of bacon grease on top with a halibut chaser? Cause that's what it looked like.
Anyway, the point is that it was really nasty. The oven and I did battle for over 40 minutes, at which point I threw in the towel i.e. pair of rubber gloves (that I'm kind of upset about having to chuck because I got them for free with a coupon and I'm sort of attached) and called the fight in favor of the oven. Granted, the nastiness is now confined to a 6" diameter circle in the middle rather than the entire bottom half, so I had a small measure of success. As for that 6" circle, I don't know how that goo is holding on. Either it's made of an adhesive found only in hell and in my oven, or it has actually developed it's own consciousness and is hanging on by sheer force of will. Either way, I give up and I'm going to go have some poptarts. I think I've earned them.

**Sidenote - Ammon just got home and when I told of my Battle with the Oven, here was his response: "Ummm, yeah. You are looking a little greazzzzy. You might want to go look in the mirror". Love.

Nina and Evan

I know I'm behind on blogging about my own life and my own child, but I had to post this adorable and hilarious video of my bro-in-law Evan (my sis Lindsay's husband) singing with/to my squishy niece, Nina. Enjoy!

Nina and Daddy Singing from Lindsay MacDonald on Vimeo.

I am getting OLD! Old I say!!!

OK, it's not my birthday QUITE yet (*july 16*). But, in light of the fact that I will be spending my birthday camping in a field in the wilderness of UT, and then driving 8 hours in the car with a whiny three-year old, I've decided to start my celebrating early. As in right now.
So, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! To ME! In 7 short days, I will be 33. Incidentally, it is my Mom's actual birthday today. Happy birthday Mom! Speaking of old...(*cough* 65).


I went and got birthday present #1 today, which was a lovely pedicure. Birthday present #2 will be riding the alpine slides at Park City on Sat, and birthday present #3 will be consuming as much Cafe Rio as is humanly possible in a 48 hour time period.
The only other thing that I covet and just cannot justify anymore now that I am not working, is this:



The most blessed mascara ever created. I am absolutely certain that angels mixed the mysterious ebony goop this is made of. Sadly, it is not to be. Since I am officially banned (by myself, NOT the authorities. Sheesh! Who do you think I am?) from setting foot in Nordstrom's, I can only dream of having eyelashes like Cher in her "If I Could Turn Back Time" video. Someday I'll be able to afford ridiculously expensive makeup again. Does that sound bad? Bah.

Nostalgia

I am having the WORST attack of nostalgia tonight!! I don't know where this is coming from - the fact that I'm still getting very little sleep (see previous post), or that it's summer, or what, but all of the sudden, I REALLY miss my college life. Does anyone else go through this, or is it just me? Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my family and my life. But you know. It's just different.

So, humor me and read my list of things I miss most about college life:

1. I miss sleeping in and missing my 8, or 9, or 10 o'clock class.
2. I miss eating in the cafeteria and watching my friend Amber laugh so hard that pudding came out of her nose.
3. I miss walking across campus, feeling so awesome and cool because I am a COLLEGE student and I have places to be and things to do.
4. I miss having Cassy have to walk 3 miles to my boyfriend's house at 2am because she was locked out.
5. I miss rollerblading in Provo Canyon.
6. I miss Janiece yelling at me to get off the phone.
7. I miss Janiece and Jessica fighting.
8. I miss singing at the top of my lungs in a car full of girls.
9. I miss hiking Orderville Canyon with Janiece and Jamie, and sleeping on the church lawn, and getting the sprinklers turned on at 4 am.
10. I miss rolling out of bed at noon to find Diana in the kitchen, having just rolled out of bed too.
11. I miss watering our garden in the middle of the night.
12. I miss that Outdoor Rec class I took during winter where I puked on a hike.
13. I miss getting asked out on a date by PETE my super duper dream guy.
14. I miss fighting and making up with my BFF Steve Bugby.
15. I miss spending the night outside temple square to get tickets for the solemn assembly.
16. I miss having our own Academy Awards with Brigham.
17. I miss lipstick wars with Jeff and Shannon in the day room.
18. Sorry, Ammon - but I also miss first kisses. Especially ones that happened unexpectedly, or in odd places.
19. I miss Diana's couch.
20. I miss going to classes and being SO excited by something I was learning.
21. I miss all the great spiritual experiences I had in college.
22. I miss running around the HFAC after it had closed.
23. I miss BYU mint brownies.
24. I miss Movies 8.
25. I miss cramming for a test hours before and then getting an A anyway.
26. I miss having my sister as my roommate and having her laugh at all the little daily things.
27. I miss falling asleep in the library.
28. I miss Janiece and Jessica's cooking.
29. I miss running into people I knew on campus.
30. I miss yelling at my roommates upstairs to shut up.
31. I miss awesome Utah snow.
32. I miss all the freaking delicious food there was to eat around campus.
33. I miss coming home from class, popping in a movie for 20 mins and eating cottage cheese with saltines.
34. I miss cute old Dr. Scoresby and Dr. Robinson's classes.
35. I miss talking all night with friends and wondering if we'll ever get married. =)

I'M FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I didn't want to do this post prematurely, lest you all witness "Falling Off the Wagon - Part Deux", but I think we've passed the danger zone...

You read right...I am free from drugs!!! I have officially gone 11 days with no Ambien!!!! Eleven!! I'M CURED!!!! I know this may seem like no big thang, but this is HUGE for me, and I must say, I am a proud little chicken right now. After having had to take a sleeping pill every night for just over three years now, I am mightily impressed with myself at being able to quit.

Amidst all my self congratulations, I must, however, be honest and admit that the impetus for this decision was not exclusively due to on my own indomitable self will. More like, the will of my doctor not being willing to refill my prescription and not being able to go back and see said doctor for a new one. But WHO CARES??? I am free, I am free and I don't care who knows it!!!!

Of course, I have been really tired and have been consuming vast (even for me) quantities of the DC - but all before 3pm.

***Brief but necessary shout out to DC: I love you. I could not live without you. You are my rock and my sweet, sweet nectar. You give me strength when I want to hide under the couch cushions. You give me tantalizing deliciousness when I need something to keep me from the brownies. And thank you, Ronald McDonald, for making the most mouth watering blend of Diet Coke known to man or beast.

Moving on. Sleep-wise, it's been a rough 11 days. Some nights I've not gotten to sleep until 4 or 5 am - last night it was about 1am which is a very big improvement. It's been challenging to say the least, but I'm really relieved. I starting to feel like a real person again.

Here are some of the Pro's of being off the goods:

1. I've learned that I can actually deal with less sleep than I thought I could (good to know if I ever have a baby that only nurses).
2. What they say about exercise really is true - it makes you sleep better. So hopefully one of the pro's will be a butt like Jessica Biel's. Or not.
3. Ability to remember the next day what happened on that show we watched the previous night. And to remember fact that I actually did watch said show. Or even remember that I watched TV.
4. No more random orders of Super Slim Shapers showing up in my mailbox from too much late night drugged up infomercial watching. Although - that was only in the beginning (see #2 below - the fun stuff wears off), and it was kind of fun anyway. And I LOVE my Super Slim Shaper.
5. No more nighttime Nutella binges.

Cons of being off the goods:

1. No more nighttime Nutella binges, or at least no legitimate excuses for having nighttime Nutella binges.
2. Less nighttime fun for Ammon. The goods made me slightly more....amorous. Although that was really just in the beginning (see: Addy).
3. No more using the "I can't get up in the night with Addy because I'll fall down the stairs" excuse. I actually did that once - it was only 2 stairs, but still.

Wow - I'm surprised those are the only cons I can think of. I sure loved my time on the drugs. Those were goooood times. But, it's time to move on. *Sniff*. So long, dear friend. You were a party in a pill and I will miss you and the delicious sleep I had while you were with me. Good heavens - isn't it a good thing I was raised LDS and never got into recreational drugs? That would not have been good.

Happy Birthday Armon!

It's Ammon's 32nd birthday today (NOT 33rd like I told some of our friends - I am trying to prematurely age him)!!! So, in honor of Ammon, and because I didn't get the cute little book done I am still planning on making for him, I put together a little slideshow of Ammon's formative years. Enjoy!!!



I love you, my Mythical Unicorn (don't be alarmed...it's an inside joke)! Weeee! Happy Birthday!

Babies and Babies and Babies (and licenses)

So, I don't know what in the sam blazes has been happening fertility-wise around here, but I swear to the high heavens I know 1100 babies born in the last several months, and at least another 746 on the way. It's amazing, in a good way, but in also a slightly disconcerting way. On the plus side: babies! Duh. So many yummy delicious baby rolls to squish! On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to think about either the really large coincidence it is that everyone I know seems to have kids at once, or the bizarre coordination effort that must have taken place to make this happen.
And, as you might expect, this makes my biological ticker (round 2) feel like one of those really annoying alarm clocks that just keep getting louder and louder until you get up, or throw it against the wall. No, not pregnant. Still in mortal terror of the idea, but REALLY starting to want a squishy little chunk of my own again. NOT a happy combo.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a Super Shout Out to all my new mom and expecting friends who had, or are having the following kidlets. In no particular order (thank you Samantha Harris for officially making that the most boring line ever read from a teleprompter):

Caroline Eleanor

Sophie Jaelyn

Avery Jolyne

Katherine Claire

Kaden H.

Baby Boy Peterson (on the way)

Baby Girl Savage (on the way)

Elisabeth Louise

**Edited Baby BOY Siders (on the way)

Everett Roe

Baby ??? Lay

Rhys Vezzani (Ammon's sis)

Benji Gould (Ammon's other sis)

Baby Boy Johnson (Cousin Misty)

I just have to say how utterly baffling/amazing/insane/wonderful/(insert adjective of your choice here) the things that we go through to become mothers are. Stumpy toes, cankles, fickle birth moms, lame doctors, barfing, itching, heart burn, pant wetting, and excessive belly fat to name a few. And yet, we do it! The things that motherhood inspires you to do and to become are truly incredible. So good job moms!!!

And a little side note to end this post on....I am officially a LEGAL DRIVER AGAIN!!!! Hurrah!!! My suspended (NOT revoked) license was reinstated today, so now I can drive to Rock Springs at 2am if I so choose. Aaaaaaah the freedom.

CWAZY

Oh sweet sanity. My lovely friend Anya let me dump Addy off about an hour ago before I went completely B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Poor kid. I've been saying a lot lately: "You are making me CRAZY!" (don't think I'm terrible - we are in potty training hell. I'm allowed to feel crazy), and she finally said "I so sorry Mommy. I sorry you cwazy". Oh precious little peanut.

So, I thought I'd use this blissful moment of peace and no pee messes to catch up a titch. As ever, I have way too much to say! Must compress.

First off - this was from today and was too cute. This kid wants to go to school so bad! She loves her "pack-pack" and insists on wearing it even though it's at least 11 sizes too big. Also note the fab shoes - Addy had a right of passage last week and got her feet measured at Nordstrom's where we bought her first "real" pair of athletic shoes.

Oh heck. It's 5pm and I really should go pick Addy up. Poor Anya has probably locked her in the closet by now. I'll have to continue later.

Booty

Yes, yes, I know. It's been ages since I've blogged and I have way more important things to post, BUT. I just couldn't resist telling you about this little nugget first:

A few days ago, I bought the ever so delicious treat of the double bag of Pirate's Booty at Costco (if you haven't tried this yet, you must RUN out and get some post-haste). I've been slowly enjoying a few (or maybe 26) handfuls each evening as my little nighttime snack, which considering the temptation, is pretty restrained. I've known many a health nut to consume an entire Costco size bag in one sitting.

Anyway. I've been doing pretty good on rationing my PB out, when I noticed today the bag, entirely empty, lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh CRAP", was my eloquent first thought. And then: "I've done it again. Another Ambien-addled brain run amok. I wonder if I ate the ham too...?".

Thankfully, I ate neither the bag of PB or the ham. It turns out Addy decided she needed some food storage in her room, consisting solely of Booty:

As you can see, she is extremely proud of her ingenuity, as am I. Providentliving.org would be so impressed.

I knew it.

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work! At your best: You are uninhibited, funny, and relaxed. What people like about being around you: You're friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to. What people dislike about being around you: You're a little sloppy and careless. How addicted people get to you: A fair amount, though they tend to deny it.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?